Monday, April 21, 2008

Drunk people CAN be funny!

This past week flew by rather fast and once again I found myself longing to be outside in the seasonable (about freakin' time) weather we've been having. This weekend in particular was a great treat since we had warm temperatures instead of the typical pattern of great weekdays and weekends that are cold and suck! So needless to say when I wasn't working this weekend I was partying extra hard although my alcohol consumption was rather mild. (More on this later.) Alas, I feel better since the rise in temperatures because now I have my apartment all opened up and the fresh air is very welcomed!

In town, the warm weather usually brings the people out in droves. On top of which it was the Red&White game for UNL so plenty of fans were in the capitol, drinking, looking for a good time and perhaps a good fight. Friday night was a very comical night regarding drunks looking for a fight. This one rather large dude had approached the door to the bar a bit early in the night, which surprised myself and the doorman on duty. Contrary to my immediate wishes, the drunk "shrek-man" was able to stumble just inside the door and proceed to give us grief. After, the doorman explained to shrek-man that he could not come inside you could clearly see the drunk start to get very testy. At first, he demanded my doorman call him a cab to which my doorman refused since he had not been drinking at our establishment. Inside my mind I was in agreement but I showed nothing but my poker face as I slowly positioned myself ready to settle the situation. Sure enough, shrek-man wanted to have a word with the manager, in other words "me." I simply stood without saying a word allowing my steady eye contact and slow shake of my head to do the speaking because obviously anything I would have had to say to him would have been lost in the drunken fog between his ears. As my doorman stepped closer to him to usher him out of the doorway I saw what I didn't want to see: shrek-man took a swing at my doorman. Now it was ON.

As I plowed through the doorway taking shrek-man and my doorman with me outside all I was thinking is that I hope my doorman did not get hit or that this asshole would not try to swing on me because I usually do not beat around the bush when it comes to that. No one got hit but what would happen next would truly turn our frowns upside down. Shrek-man's pants came tumbling down to his ankles during the scuffle! LOL What a complete asshole!

The incident ended with shrek-man giving us all the finger out of anger and most likely embarrassment. Although, he did try to get into another bar across the street but it was all a lost cause as the bicycle police were waved down and the guy was hauled off to detox - again, with one more drop of the draws for good measure. As the police took statements from myself and my doorman I could not help but crack a smile and giggle at the recount of the incident. The officers shared in the grinning and chuckling. The rest of the night was easy-peazy lemon squeezy! ;-)


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