Monday, December 03, 2007

Ladies it's TRUE!

Guys will stick their dicks in anything at least once!

I mean it's really nothing new under the sun. Animals with rather large brains (those with larger than humans' as well) are able to find very unique ways to get off. It was merely a few decades ago that scientists thought masturbation, an act not for procreation but for pleasure (unlike when dogs hump your leg or when your cell mate Rufus wants to spoon with you tonight) was limited to the simians. Today scientists know better.

Dolphins in captivity while in their aquariums are able to bring themselves to climax within fifteen seconds just by positioning their bodies (and their genitalia) against the water jets. Females apparently do it more frequently than the males. Kangaroos can autofellate for crying out loud! No wonder so many does can't get their beaus to leave their bush at night.

And female porcupines? Good heavens. (Engaging in the act of pleasuring them must be a sticky contest even for a male porcupine - too many pricks in the same room I think.) They carefully form sticks into vibrators to turn up the RPMs a bit and really get the job done. Talk about dwindling down a man's confidence, eh? Well, I guess if I had as many pricks as a porcupine and I had to swing them around all day long I'd get tired sometimes too.

So please ladies, don't give us quite as hard a time as we may give you (and I'm not referring to that thank you very much). We cannot help how we were made and how deeply we are programmed. Besides which, if it weren't for our ability to give chase, none of us would be here anyway. So come on people. Touch yourselves and touch someone else who's special. The world will be so much better a place to be believe me! ;-)


2 talkin' trash:

Kleveland said...

Fair enough, but was the picture *REALLY* necessary?

Mended Meanderer said...

Absolutely! Remember most members of the human race (the MTV generation most of all) have the attention spans of Boo Radley. So they need what we in the education professions call "visual cues." ;-)