Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Why do I read the news?

Well, I could say that I like to keep up with what is going on in the world BUT to be really honest - most of what is going on in the world is nothing more than a used durex. I simply wanna roll it off and through it away!

Very few things tickle my fancy and give me those ol' school days butterflies in the belly. I was checking out the Times, yes THE Times as it is basically the rag of record in the world, something I do semi-frequently either from iGoogle or from Google Reader. I found this article that was oddly appealing (yet interesting) in that morbid, medieval sense when I am confronted with tales of crime and punishment.

Whether or not you are for the death penalty or against is not my concern nor would I welcome a debate on the subject (merely due to the fact no one can intelligently counter my stance which I may or may not choose to document as an addendum to this post). But I do find it very interesting that other countries who seemingly look at America with various levels of disdain or perhaps think that we are too arrogant, crude a society to be the superpower that we are, have their own societal quirks. Do I think the guy should have been off'd for the crime he committed? Perhaps, maybe, I don't really know. But what I think would be very, very interesting is to see how the crooks a-hem politicians and those in power in this country would respond if sentences like this were carried out within our borders!

Like George Carlin once said: Giving the death penalty to drug dealers in this country does not deter them from committing more crime because they are killing each other everyday out on the streets. They simply are NOT afraid to die. Instead, we should round up and kill all the white collar assholes who launder the fucking drug money. Only then will you see the drug problem in this country dry up rather quick!

So needless to say that article didn't make wanna hurl.

But there was one that I found that did give me the dry heaves for a second or two. All you self-proclaimed music snobs will appreciate this so go here to read up on Mark Ronson. I don't wanna do the reading for you, but basically this kid is the son of music moguls who decided to undergo the usual metamorphosis of DJ-producer-record label founder. After failed attempts in the states to garner anything more than a real local following amongst NYC celebs and corporate types, he has made the Times due to his release of his second album "Version."

Now don't get me wrong the article has some interest for those music trivia fans because it does cover some history of the NYC music scene and the travels of this slackey. But believe it or not, being the son of music celebrities does not guarantee that you will have talent yourself. Basically, this guy can spin some records, that's it. As far as listening to the tracks he has produced? They can all pretty much be summed up by the track the Times offers as a listening sample. It is a tragic reworking of a song that was AWESOME to begin with and that Ronson has totally murdered! Just a word of advice here: if you are going to remake/remix/rewrite/cover an eighties hit (like every other fucking DJ in the world is doing, most of them rather poorly at that) make sure you make the track well enough so that it can stand with the original. By this I mean, if you plan on having a singer sing a song that was original sung by a fantastic singer, make sure the voice of the singer you use is equally great. Anything less will just add insult to injury. Also, forget about using those synthesized voice-overs to try and get the singer to sound as close to the original singer - this shit just doesn't cut the mustard and really makes peoples colons clench.

The common pitfall to remember here is that 75% of the people you see at dance clubs are not really there for the music and could not tell one record apart from the next simply because they have no real grasp of electronic music other than its role as an atmospheric proponent to the club land. There are also another 15% who actually come to the club to hear the music, dance their asses off as well as soak up the atmosphere. That leaves 10% who actually collect electronic music and actually have a discriminating ear for the what the DJ is actually playing. Truly knowing the club population is half the battle.

And that's all I have to say about that.


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